Graham Johnson

My friend Graham died this weekend of a heart attack. He was born with a congenitive heart defect, and while he had surgery early in life to correct as best they could, ultimately the muscle that was his heart gave out. That said, the man had one of the biggest hearts, the strongest spirits I have known.

Graham comes from a very tightly-knit circle of friends who have known each other a long time. I'm a relative newcomer to this crowd, but they've always been very welcoming, hospitable, and true blue friends. We were talking last night about how much of an inspiration he was, how he would be out there dancing when no one else was -- be it at a concert, club, or at your house. He introduced people to the best food & drink he knew. He introduced me to Bushmill's Black, an excellent whiskey to warm you on a cold Nebraska night.

He gave me beer money at the Shins concert, and was at my house just last week to pick up Mo after a few of us had been porching it. He was a gentleman, a scholar, a writer, a bartender, a host, a dancer, a world traveler, a free spirit, and an inspiration. We spent most of yesterday at my house, and then over at their apartment, drinking, smoking & sharing stories.

John said that he could picture Graham making it up to heaven and asking God whether he had ever had Nutella with ... and oh, just let me make it for you. He also said that when it is his time to die, that he wants Graham Johnson to welcome him to the afterlife. He can just picture him, "This is so great! I can't wait to show you around!!"

His girlfriend, Mo, is taking it really hard. She's an artist, and waits at the French Cafe. Since she's a server, she doesn't have a lot of money coming in right now. We'd all like her to not have to go back to work, so we're talking to people about different ways to raise funds. I'll post them here when I get more info, but please keep her & his family in your thoughts & prayers. And if you can spare anything, the price of a drink, it will go a long way. We've started taking up collections, and talked about setting up a Paypal account where people could send money long-distance.

Finally, Graham was a writer. He had just finished his first novel & was dealing with a publisher so that he could get it printed on demand. We'd very much like to make it happen, as he was a wonderful philosopher, a wonderful lover & liver of life. I'm going to offer whatever publishing skills I have, and I'd like for us to be able to make a handmade edition for the family & for Mo. I have some connections to people who make books & typesetting skills, but any ideas or resources would be welcome in this endeavor.

Many Thanks to Brendan, Tony, Rupi &, Lisa for the pictures of Graham, and to everyone who has shared stories in the comments below. I know that writing for me has always been therapeutic, especially when I have lost someone I love. Please feel free to share your stories and photos. I've set up a Flickr photostream with the same photos the album here, so that people can comment on the photos, add their own, etc.

Comments

[Cory]

Despite the fact that Graham was my cousin, I never got to know him as well as I would have liked. I greatly regret not knowing him better after having learned how precious life is. Reading all of these wonderful things about him from so many people from so many places has helped me get to know him a little bit better. Thank you.

I can't speak in any official capacity on behalf of his parents and other close family, but I can tell you that the outpouring of love for him during the celebration of life and the following party in his parents' yard was greatly appreciated by everyone that I talked to. The flowers, the cards, and the memories shared have been amazing. This blog and the accompanying pictures are outstanding examples of the kind of warmth and friendship that emanated from Graham and was returned to him by friends like all of you. Thank you.

[Jason Zuba]

Hello all. I am a fraternity brother of Graham. I will never forget meeting the "dude who looks like Kurt Cobain from Nebraska". We were roomates and grew to become close friends. Some of my fondest memories from college were with Graham. I will never forget his soft smile and passion for helping others. He was so well liked by everyone at KU. I haven't had the honor of meeting his friends from Lincoln...Only Evan..(Evan please email me jzuba@freightquote.com) Thank you all for your stories of Graham. He will be missed dearly by all of us. I will pour out the top of my 40 oz. in memory of our homie.
Rest in Peace Graham. Jason Zuba

[Michael Konen]

I am so saddened to learn about the news of Graham. I referred to him as the “Grahammer Hammer”! I was also a fraternity brother of Graham and was in his pledge class at KU. You all have painted such beautiful pictures of Graham and he really was all those things. I remember him being a guy who instantly hit it off with all of his pledge brothers and over 100 different strangers at the SigEp house. He hit it off with everybody really!

Graham really was the total package – a true Renaissance man as some others said. He had those “movie star” looks and great athleticism (he won the KU Hill Tennis Tournament his freshmen year) but his kindness and friendship to all made him a friend to all. It seems you can talk to almost anyone at KU who knew Graham and they all considered him one of their best friends in college. Graham really made a positive impact on their college experience. How can so many people refer to the same guy as one of their best friends in college? Graham was just the type of special person who could do that and he wasn’t really even trying. This is just who Graham was. Graham had the gift to make everyone feel special. He had an infectious laugh and he could always cheer you up with a joke to make you realize your problems weren’t so big. He made the best of everything. He made my college experience so much better. I always admired the way he carried himself. The Hammer was all class.

I last hooked up with Graham a few years back when I called him last minute to tell him I was spending the night in Lincoln for work. He made time to meet me out on very short notice and took me out for a great night on the town and we met up with EJ. Graham was always the ultimate host and friend to all -- a true tour guide for life. I didn’t keep in as good of contact with “the Hammer” as I should have. I always knew that the next time I called him we could meet up and it would be just like yesterday and our friendship would not miss a beat.

I will always remember that big smile and the non-stop laugh always coming from Graham. The Hammer rocked in everything he did!

2 Legit 2 Quit Grahammer Hammer!

MKonen@Comcast.net

[Michaela Hannig]

I just heard from Graham's death from a friend of mine.

I sent some greetings to her,Graham and other friends of my dormitory, just to wish them merry christmas and a happy new year. Then she informed me about his death. Although I had no contact to Graham since he and Christina left Hanover to move to Heidelberg I'm shocked.

I met him and Christina in the dormitory where they lived in my kitchen when they were in Hanover, Germany.

I remember Graham as a person who wanted to make the world better, who wanted to change things. He was a man who had strong ideals referring to environmental protection. I studied landscape architecture and I remember many many talks with him about nature protection. He wanted to learn from the German system of environmental protection to take some good elements back to the USA.

Once in this time he went to the climate conference in Bonn. When he retourned he brought along two big and heavy cardboard boxes of information. "I thought you could be interested in these papers". I don't know any other person of my circle of friends who was so attentive.

He and Christina vitalized our kitchen community. In summer we sat on our balcony, drinking some wine and beer, talking and laughing. Just a short time before they went to Heidelberg we watched the fireworks competition in the Herrenhaeuser Gaerten - an unforgettable event - now by his death it has become even more unforgettable than before.

I'm very thankful that I had the chance to know him.

Michaela

[MaryAnn]

I just found out about Graham's passing this afternoon.

I was Graham's roommate in late '96 - '97, when he came back to Lincoln from Kansas. Even though we went to High School together, we didn't know each other until E.J. introduced us.

I remember the pot luck dinners, talks on the couch, and that scarf with the elephants he hung on the wall. But mostly I remember his smile, his laugh and his engulfing hugs.

[Christina Anhalt]

Everyone has said the things in my heart. I was truly lucky to have the affections and attention of such a wonderful human being. The experiences I had with him in Germany were once in a lifetime. The last time I talked to him I apologized and asked if he wanted to come out to California and start a farm. He was so nice. He forgave me, of course, but said no to my offer. He said that his place was in Nebraska, with his family and friends.

[Misty]

What about his book? Does anyone know if it is still getting published? The link to his site has not been working for awhile now.

[Kim (Clements) Schwab]

I went to junior high and high school with Graham and had the pleasure of running into him many times post high school. I was actually out of the country when Graham died and just heard about it today, two and a half years later. Graham was one of the most genuinely kind, big-hearted, wonderful people I have ever met. This world was lucky to have known him for even a short time, and a better place for his having been here.
Thanks for sharing the sad news.
Kim

[Brendan Evans]

Thinking about Graham tonight. I love him and I miss him but 2 and half years later I know that he is always still here with us. With me in those moments and I know with all of you. All you have to do is take a moment and that big goofy loveable grin is right there and he is next to you. Thanks my friend. Keep up the good work. We all appreciate it and need it whether we know it or not.

Cheers,

Brendan

[evan green]

...Still not over this guy.
I have the vest sitting in my closet along with a few shirts. They still smelled like him for a long time after he left. I've waited a long time to write in here. I wrote down every memory I could in my journal for awhile and those are vintage and I covet them for myself, like, you had to be there- I lack the power of description. But everyone has their own specific memories which are as wonderful and rare and what is wonderful is the community of love that surrounded Graham (you and me). Some very specific magic passed out of this world and into us, don't you think? Call me if you want to conjure up this delightful phantom, he is an almost constant companion.
Evan 402 - 730 - 0068

[Carie (Christiansen) Hajek]

I just got the news, and although this is some four years after his death...I feel a pain deep inside that we won't meet again in this life.

Christina Anhalt was a good friend of mine and introduced me to Graham in the mid 1990s. His zest for life and commitment to the environment stay with me even today...rock on "eco-warrior".

Graham, you will be missed.